Ich bin bin wirklich stolz auf mich, das ich es geschafft habe. Auch wenn diese Umarmung auch nur zwei sekunden ging. Ich war mir heute Morgen nicht mehr sicher ob ich ihn wirklich Liebe. Aber nachdem er gegangen ist bin ich zusammen gebrochen und hab angefangen zu heulen. Er ist weg. Und wenn ich pech hab werde ich ihn nie wieder sehen. Ich hab ihm heute Morgen noch eine Email geschrieben:
Hey Brother ♥
You wanted to know what I like, because you thought I like NOTHING.
Even if I hate myself, I have things I like. I write this E-mail, because you know I'm shy and I'm sure I could never tell you all these things.
I like: You, reading, writing, help other people with their problems, listening to music, meet my friends, go for a walk, Animals, Mangas, Anime, going to the cinema, Chocolate, climbing, shopping, climbing over fences to get to places i'm not allowed to go, football, calling my friends, Eminem, t.A.T.u, Strawberrys, dolphins, swimming, get information about psychically sickness, irony, volleyball, thinking, eating, sun, singing, school, money, thunder storm and cola. That's it. When i find more I will send it you, ok? I'm sorry, that you thought, i'm bored all the time and i can't remember that i said all is boring. At the Dinner Party, i was very nervous, and I was so happy to know that you are only a few meters from me away. Maybe I act like this because i'm sick. Maybe I will feel better after I visited the therapist. I like you very much, so I hope I will see you again...one day...did you know, that after Christian died, I was so sad, I thought I can't laugh again. A few days later I chatted the first time to you. And you were so funny that I had to laugh. ;) I'm really happy to know you. And I'm so sad that you go away. Because I will miss you so much. And I know you won't miss me, because I'm just a stupid girl, that always bother you. But you just have to say: Stop talking to me, and I will never bother you again. This E-mail is a bit strange I think. I won't read it again. If I do this, I'm sure I won't send it. I hope the last week of your Holidays will be great. ♥
Er hat nicht darauf geantwortet...glaubt ihr er weiß es jetzt? Ich hab keine Lust irgendwas zu machen. Will einfach nur da sitzen heulen und Schoko fressen...Aber immerhin habe ich es Dank der Menschen hier und und auch meinen Freundinnen geschafft diese 3 Ziele zu schaffen...